YOUR BEHAVIOR

Most of the people say that non-verbal languages are much more effective and important than the ordinary language. Why do they think so?

According to the researches gestures and mimics are much more important during the job interview and it helps to influence the interlocutor or the audience in 55 percent. However the language itself is very important but it takes only 7 percent. The rest 38 percent are for the so-called par-language (intonation, pauses emotional state and so on).

At the same time our non verbal language sometimes denies the words which were spoken. When our words deny our gestures and other details of behavior, the trust that the interviewer could feel at the beginning of the interview can simply vanish because most of the careful and
experienced interviewers know that the words are not as important as manners.

First of all this rule works for those managers who worked for a long time but were fired by this or that reasons. Their self-confidence and vanity were oppressed because the part of their career ended as a complete failure. In most cases such people look very depressed even if they
talk about their successes and strong points. If the interviewer asks a more difficult question that usual he (or she) loses the main point of the dialog. They look worried and sometimes they try to hide their worry under the mask of unfriendliness and inaccessibility.

As a non verbal communication is more precise and sincere than words, most of our gestures and manners may reveal our inner uncertainty. The words may deceive because the words are often produced by the sphere of our consciousness. Our body language in the whole and the system of gestures in particular are the sign systems from above our consciousness. They are badly controlled or they are not controlled at all showing our true thoughts and intentions.
Nevertheless some people simply underestimate the importance of non-verbal communication. And the reason is hidden in our characters. From the early childhood we were not taught that we should pay much attention to our words. If you want to learn the ABC of your body language you should listen to and look at your manners and the manners of the people who surround you in your every day life.


The first minutes of the interview

People always try to give their own estimation to you when they meet you at the first time and for the interview it is very important. That is why you should follow several simple rules; first of all do not be late. You would better come 10-15 minutes before and get ready for the interview in proper way but not in a great rush. The extra time may be used for concentration and all preparation for the interview. Waiting for the interviewer you should not take anything from your bag even if it is your note pad with your own notes on the professional topic. It would
be better if you look through different magazines and newspapers which are usually laid on the table or at the reception desk. It will make the impression that you can relax even before stressful situations as serious interview. This very detail will show the interviewer that he may
trust you. And it is extremely important to set an emotional contact with the employer.
If, when you have already come, the secretary tells you that the interviewer is waiting for you and ready to talk to you come in to his office as if it is ordinary procedure to open his room and come in without knocking. It will not show your impolite and rude attitude to him, on the
contrary, I do not advise you knock at the door because some employers treat it like unreasonable fear. As psychologists say, door is a psychological barrier and if you begin to hesitate in front of closed doors it means that it is difficult for you to overcome difficulties.

Greet the interview with a strong and firm shaking of hands. It should be very sincere because I know a lot of people who failed in the interview even if they did not start their conversations. And the reason of the failure is sometimes evident: it may be a weak and unconfident
shaking of hands, their nervousness, unconfident, even lime gait or damp palms.


Some don'ts.

Do not hurry to start talking just after the greeting do not touch your bag or the chair or armchair you are sitting in. if the interviewer do not show you the place to sit, choose it yourself. Choose the one which is just in front of the chair of the employer. Avoid soft and silky sofas and armchairs because it would be difficult to stand up at the end of the interview. The main thing is that you should not ask the employer: Excuse me, where I may sit down?" If during the interview your interviewer was disturbed by a phone call or anything of that kind try to create the atmosphere of the private conversation and do not try to attract the attention of the employer. You may read a magazine and different materials on the professional topic
while he is speaking. Do not show your negative attitude towards the interruption and the pause in your dialog. It would be useless if you leave the room and so allow the employer to talk in a private atmosphere. It is possible that it is done to check your reaction on the pauses while working in the office.


Accepted distance.

Any of us feel discomfort when people invade in to our private distance and during the conversation we always try to keep the distance. Its length depends on our private feelings and emotions. Accepted distance for extraverts is about 50-120 centimeters, at the same time introverts need from 70-170 centimeters of the private distance.

Your task on the interview is to guess whish pose is more preferable for your employer. It is important to find the optimal distance between you and the interviewer. You may allow sitting closer only if you think that the employer treats your words with skepticism. In other ways it
may frighten the employer and destroy the emotional contact which was set with a great difficulty. By the way, some managers of staff break the distance purposely to imitate the strict atmosphere of interrogation and creating the stressful situation.

When you have to underline some points of your speech try to show the sincerity and confidence in your words. Use emotional gestures, structure of your language and of course try to look to your interviewer's eyes. It is not desirable to deviate from the topic of the interview or look down. Such details may be interpreted as an unconfident and intense behavior during the interview


How do you speak?

The way you speak is always describe your character better than what are you talking about. That is why try to use your natural voice, do not change your tempo rhythm and intonation of your voice. Your pitch of the voice and breath plays an important role. Confident applicants talk
in quiet, mild and pleasant to the partner voice. Your voice should transfer your mood, properly express your traits of character and show your true interest in getting the job you would like to get. Unconfident applicants on the contrary can not control their pitch of the voice and way of behavior. It is easy to detect them from other people because they stutter, stumble and they always try to clear their throat coughing and pronouncing various gr" and khm" revealing their
nervousness. Other people try to hide their emotions by making long speech and complicated answers.


Meet the sight of the interviewer.

Managers of the staff have noticed that candidates with the high self esteem as usual have complicated mimics. Facial expressions of the confident people constantly changes and it depend on the topic of speech. He is smiling every time and he likes to look straight to the interviewer's eyes. The interviewer will trust into your open-heartedness and sincerity if you look straight to the interviewer's eyes. Avoiding the eye contact and being shy you lose the trust of the
interviewer. Do not smile and nod in inappropriate moment.

Watch for the manners of your partner. If he avoids the eye contact it means that he does not pay much attention to your interview, he is worried or excited of may be he is not interested in talking to you. He looks up on the ceiling? Probably he feels uncomfortable, he tries to recollect some information or he just does not believe your words. Bet be careful and do not try to sit and look into the eyes of your interviewer all the time. If you catch the eyesight of the employer and
keep it longer than 7 or 10 minutes it may cause the anxiety and discomfort.


Your pose and gestures.

Even if you sit stunned and do not move at all during the interview, you pose is telling the interviewer about your thoughts. Some of the European and American bosses have a habit to put their legs on the table. They do it because they want to show their might and superiority. The employer who stands straight makes an impression of the person who respects the partner but in reality it means that he does not want to talk to the applicant and he is not friendly.
Confident applicants should have confident gait and confident pose and gestures. Their steps are short. Try to make your pose and speech free and natural. At the same time if you control every move you may lose your natural behavior. From time to time you may reveal your emotions.
You would look expressively when your words meets you moves and pose. The situation would be under your control.


Read the interviewer

Managers of the staff are the ordinary people and if you know a little bit of psychology it would be very helpful during the interview. Body language of the employer may give you very useful information. If he nods while listening to your answers it means that he approves of your
words. If he crosses his hands or legs it means that he is closed for the contact. The employer may touch his nose or chin, collect the imaginary down on his jacket and so on and it means that he is not interested in the topic of the interview.

If you are worried try not to show your anxiety and nervousness. But remember a very important thing. You should not try to read each pose and move of the employer. For example if the employer scratches his nose it does not mean that he shows his neglect. May be he just wants to scratch it? Besides, the majority of the psychologists say that it is difficult to understand the emotional state of the by only one gesture. It is easier to understand it by a group of gestures or an overall manner of behavior.

Good luck!